Typing Alone with Marilyn Monroe

I shall now, for your viewing pleasure, cite the most notorious conspiracy theories, before your very eyes! I will not mention Watergate, because its obvious, Rosewell, because its ongoing, Kennedy, because its obvious, or Princess Diana, because I'm sick of it, she died, it was terrible, case closed.
Conspiracy #1: Mariliyn Monroe
Let me just say this. Why does every person in this country associate the deaths of beautiful women with cocaine? I mean, obviously, it was cocaine that killed Marilyn, but still. But the reason many people believe she was killed was her association to many...powerful political leaders...such as the Kennedys. Most of this is reflected in the Marilyn Tapes, which may or may not exist, and may or may not contain America's most glamorous movie star doing nasty with America's most glamorous president, and other intriguing episodes. And if anyone is offended by that, come on! The Kennedy brothers Jack and Bobby, president and attorney general, were either sleeping with her, or talking dirty on the phone with her, but that doesn't mean that they killed her. But it doesn't mean they didn't, I will admit, MANY people involved in the investigation were acting shady. No conclusion.
Conspiracy Theory #2: Pan Am Flight 103
This conspiracy theory, is one of the most intriguing I've ever heard of. Here's the story: 1988, Pan Am Flight 747 was ripped from the sky by a wad of plastic explosives. Was it just a crazy random happenstance that five CIA agents were on board? Was it also coincidence that another squad of CIA agents showed up at the scene of the accident, and later walked away with a mysterious briefcase belonging to one of the deceased? Or maybe perhaps the half million dollars in cash found on the scene? I. Call. BULLCRAP. This was NOT a random event, and many various cults, satanic worship groups, Libyan terrorists, and the CIA itself, have been considered as the culprits. In my opinion, it was all the CIA, I mean really. Look at this! This was a MASS. MURDER. And to me, the only people that could be responsible, are the CIA. Case Closed.
Conspiracy Theory #3: The Moon Landing of 1969
Uh...yeah, I'd like to point this out to all people who believe this theory. We. Landed. On. The. MOON. Thats about it, we didn't lie, it really happened. Case Closed.
Conspiracy Theory #4: Jesus
I don't even know how to feel about this one. The DaVinci Code is one of my favorite movies, and it has some very interesting theories, but I can't call a conclusion on this one because alot of the facts are obscured, and I won't even go into the entire Priory of Zion, because it is a little far fetched, but I won't draw a complete answer. No Conclusion.
Conspiracy Theory #5: The Jonestown Massacre
This ahs to be one of the most tragic, and most terrifying stories I've ever heard. Story: On November 18, 1978, in a cleared out patch of Guyanese jungle, the Reverend Jim Jones ordered the 913 of his followers to drink Kool Aid laced with cyanide, and they did. There was one survivor. Many believe that Jonestown was the result of human mind control testing, genocide, and the appearance of our old friends the CIA, some even believed that Jonestown WAS the CIA, although that claim has been debunked as ridiculous. I myself believe that it was just the result of a madman and alot of willing followers, and thats all, no CIA. and no government involvement. Case Closed.

Beatles: Standing in the dock at Southampton Trying to get to Holland or France. The man in the mac said you've got to go back, You know they didn't even give us a chance. Christ! You know it ain't easy, You know how hard it can be. The way things are going, They're going to crucify me.

Songs I Realized I liked

Who's ready for the music?
I am.
So, let the Wild Rumpus Start!
Song #1: 'Bad Romance' by Lady Gaga
Surprised aren't you?
Yes, I do in fact love Lady Gaga with a passion that exceeds what is more commonly known as my heart (my achey breaky heart). Mainly because we had to listen to it about 7 billion times in Physical Theatre today, because our teacher Annie heard us listening to Bad Romance before class, so she suggested we make music videos to Lady Gaga music. And my group chose Bad Romance, so now its like my new favorite song.
Song #2: 'Tree Hugger' by Antsy Pantsy and Kimya Dawson
Its just such a good song. Its from the movie Juno, and I just recently found out its name, and I've been looking for it forever, and I've found it! Now I love it even more. Its sounds kindof folksy, but you can really dance to it...don't ask me how I know. Its a song that sounds like it doesn't make sense at first, but after a few times, it really DOES make sense.
Song #3: 'Put a Banana in your Ear' by the Evil Banana King
Just because its full of the awesomest awesome stuff that ever graced this world. Plus, the concept of ever actually putting a banana in your ear is ridiculous and makes me smile...very randomly in public and thus freaking out everybody in my immediate vicinity. This video helps out alot too (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkfPEPtEDwk).
Song #4: 'Darkness, Darkness' by Lisa Torban
Its depressing, but the way she sings it makes you kindof want to move. Its one of my favorite songs, it was introduced to me a few years ago in the movie Ghosts of the Abyss, so I've always associated it with the Titanic...which is probably why I consider it depressing.
Song #5: 'Gethsemane' by Ted Neeley for 'Jesus Christ Superstar'
Its just....Wow. Its one of the most amazing songs I've ever heard. One of the most amazing MOVIES I've ever seen. The way he sings it changes from being distraught to angry to just exhausted. His vocals are amazing, the instrumentals are VERY powerful, and the lyrics send shivers up your spine. Definitly one of my favorite songs AND movies.
There will be more, just not today Zerg!
...Toy Story (blushes).

Beatles:Oh look out She came in through the bathroom window, Protected by a silver spoon But now she sucks her thumb and wonders By the banks of her own lagoon Didn't anybody tell her Didn't anybody see Sundays on the phone to Monday Tuesdays on the phone to me.

When You're Evil

Recently I hath been wondering that great question of the world.
Am I evil?
What. A. Challenge.
Yes, yes I am.
Only there are different types you see, three to be exact. Should I list them?
Yes?
Thats what I thought you'd say.
Okay, first level:
Puny Evil
You can take our survey to find out if you are Puny evil.
1. You cry when someone calls you a Barnackle Head
2. You fight over who gets to play Starfire in your roleplay.
3. Your favorite singer is Hannah Montana
4. You ask your mom what your older sister means by a 'Byatch'
5. Your favorite movie is Wall-E
This concludes Puny Evil. Now we move to:
Angsty Teenager Evil
You can take out survey to find out if you are Angsty Teenager Evil.
1. You dye your hair neon colors, peirce your miscellaneus body parts, and get tattoo's in places that aren't covered by your peircings, all just to piss your parents off.
2. You go on the Drop and Upside-Down rides at Amusement Parks....Than brag about it.
3. You listen to Hollywood Undead or Alesana even though you really hate those bands.
4. Your favorite movie is secretely Legally Blond.
5. You get high with your friends on weekends and throw water at each other.
And finally:
Costumed Evil
You get the picture:
1. You blow up cars for a living.
2. Your idol is either Ted Bundy or Charles Manson.
3. You think Rob Zombie and Brian DePalma are the greatest directors of all time.
4. You go drinking with your buddies then trick them into High Beaming a cop car.
5. You've killed people before... and are waiting to finish this post so you can do it again.
This concludes Are you Evil? Please join us next week for When Animals Attack.

Beatles: As I write this letter, send my love to you, Remember that I'll always be in love with you. Treasure these few words till we're together Keep all my love forever. PS I love you, you, you, you.

The Good Points

Since I have a bright and happy background, I ought to have a bright and happy post right?
If your answer is yes, then not only are you right, but you're Damn right.
Here's my happy post:

(Paramount Pictures Logo)

THE HAPPY POST

Directed by Spazm

Written by Spazm

Starring Spazm

Music by Spazm

Catered by Spazm

(We open on a Pink background, its bright and happy like some sort of odd and deadly, but happy, exotic fruit. A painting of words are running across the page, like a cold and deadly, but happy, blizzard. There are no comments, leaving the lone writer to bask in the terrible, but happy, silence. A lone, and happy tear falls from the writers eye, as they rip off their clothes to reveal a dance leotard and tights. They proceed to do a rousing tap dance to Judy Garland's 'Get Happy', with a large and overly cheesy, yet happy grin on their face.

They strike an artsy, and happy, pose, as the song ends. The comments section remains empty, but happy, and very pink, like the cheek of a young and happy child. The writer is degected, until a ray of sun breaks through the unforgiving gray clouds, and The Beatles 'Here Comes the Sun' starts to play. The writer frollicks through a feild of beautifully scented roses and daffodils...which are also very happy.

The song ends, and the cold, but happy, silence is broken by the 'Bing' of a new comment. The writer is elated, overjoyed, glowing, sparkling, and maybe even a bit happy. They reads the comment, crying happy tears of happy joy.

They strike a dramic pose as 'I've had the Time of my Life' by Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes begins.

We fade out.)

Credit Song: 'Walking on Sunshine' by Katrina and the Waves

Directed by Spazm

THE END

That was my happy post, and I hope you thouroughly enjoyed it.

Because I know I did!

Number of times the word Happy was used in this post: 20

Damn.

Beatles: For goodness sake, I've got the hippy hippy shake. I've got the shake, oh the hippy hippy shake. Oo I can't keep still with the hippy hippy shake. I get my fill with that hippy hippy shake.

Permanantly Black and Blue

Aaaaaaaand maybe a little pink.
I dunno, I like it this way, its all bright and happy.
So I'll most likely hate it tomorrow.
Especially since I've got to go back to the dentist tomorrow, because the friggin Dentist most likely has no idea how to do a decent filling...
Here's the story:
I went to the Dentist for a filling, basic procedure, go in, shoot up the Novocaine, fill the sucker, go home.
Pretty simple, huh?
Hahaha.
Wrong.
Here's how it REALLY went:
I went in, they stabbed me with Novocaine, it hurt quite a bit, they filled the cavity, and they drilled my gum in the process.
And about a day after, my tooth started to hurt. And the entire week it just got worse and worse, so I told my Mom, and she set up another appointment.
I went in, and they determine that they !@#$ed it up like complete idiots, and they want to do it again.
And here we are.
I really don't wanna go...
I don't like getting stabbed with sharp hypodermic needles man...
I'm not sure if there's any GOOD news today, so I'll leave it at that.
Purdy short.
Just like I like it.

Beatles: In the town where I was born, Lived a man who sailed the sea, And he told us of his life, In the land of submarines. So we sailed on to the sun, Till we found the sea of green, And we lived beneath the waves, In our yellow submarine.

The Best/Worst Day ever

Well, yesterday was Friday.
And to those of you keeping score, yesterday I got my J-Term assignment.
But I shall start from the begining right now folks, cuz thats not all that happened today.
First off, never eat a bagel with Honey and Walnut cream cheese with Nantucket Nectars Lemonade, its disgusting and messes with your internal organs.
So after Algebra, which is in the Lowry, I always have to run to the Landmark to get to the front of the Elevator line, because I dislike walking up 5 flights of stairs.
So I tried to go through the front door, but it was locked oddly, so I used the side door, and I go up the two steps leading to the Atrium, and guess who' standing the middle of the atrium?
Hayley from Paramore.
I've never wanted a camera more in my life.
But Mr Grosscrites (The Dean) told me to get to class, so I skedaddled and STILL got to the front of the line.
Well God Damn.
Oh, but it doesn't end there Ladies and JellyBeans.
Its the last five minutes of class, and my History teacher Ms. Vevle, is passing out our J-Term sheets, and when mine came I opened it and was at first confused at what the hell I was suppossed to do, until I looked at the last sheet of paper, reading:

Good & Plenty

Role: Coach Kettlewell

Needless to say, I was happy to get in the play I wanted, and just to be involved, but I was a little disappointed not to get the role I wanted.

The role in question was a student called Margie, a hippie girl who only speaks in Song lyrics.

But I was happy.

Until I got to the bus stop.

I was talking to the boy known only as the Trumpet, when I happened to glance across the street.

I saw a group of girl in my track (Happy, Sleepy, Grumpy, Doc, and Hymie) and they were all smiling and I could just tell they were talking about J-Term because everybody was.

I never felt so lonely in my life.

I suppose it doesn't really matter though.

No other news.

Beatles: I look at you all, see the love there that's sleeping, While my guitar gently weeps. I look at the floor and I see it needs sweeping, Still my guitar gently weeps.

The Other Truth

Heres the other Truth. The one about myself:
I know I'm hideousy ugly, don't rub it it.
I wear my makeup to HIDE the hideously ugly face that is my face.
I like sugar and eat lots of it.
My weight is as awful as it is BECAUSE of that addiction.
I'm not upset about my weight, it does wonders for my curves.
My arms are scrawny on the bottom and beefy at the tops, so I loathe them.
My hands are equally horrendouse, but I like what they do.
I however hate that the nails on them are always dirty, and I pick at them.
I like to swear, and don't have any problem with it.
However, I won't stand for the words Faggot, Nigger, or Fatass.
I like to sing.
I have a horrible voice.
My voice is like Squidward on Spongebob Squarepants.
The word 'Fartknocker' will make me snort when properly used.
I snort.
I read Cosmo, although everyone will make fun of me for it.
I want to be normal.
Normal people hate me.
I hate normal people.
Kathy Griffin makes me laugh.
I won't laugh outloud.
People who claim to be something other than they are bother me.
I'm not a lesbian, but I love the original Jessica Rabbit cartoon, and find her unbelievably sexy.
I hate men.
I hate women.
I may just be asexual.
I love reading articles about Lindsay Lohan and Robert Pattinson.
Joel Mchale is my celebrity crush even if he's married with kids.
I've never heard a Michael Jackson song, and don't intend to.
My favorite show is Cake Boss.
I'm watching it right now.
My secret ambition is to learn the Soulja Boy dance.
I hate the Soulja Boy dance.
I love my hair.
Noone else does.

Thats about it.
For now.

Beatles: He's a real Nowhere Man, Sitting in his Nowhere Land, Making all his Nowhere plans for nobody. Doesn't have a point of view, Knows not where he's going to, Isn't he a bit like you and me?

The Truth

I see people doing this in their blogs all the time, and I feel I need to do this.
Here we go:
You're not funny.
I don't care anymore.
Shut up for once.
Why can't you accept me?
I hate your music.
I wish you'd leave me alone.
When I write, I don't feel anything anymore.
You're not as cool as you think you are.
Its not cute when you're naiive.
You're not pretty, inwardly or outwardly.
All you do is take.
I wish you'd stop.
I hate it when you call me Eni.
You're not mature.
You're not cool.
I don't know why I'm friends with you.
You make me feel like shit.
Stop lying about yourself.
Stop lying to ME.
Sometimes I don't want to hear about your life.
Why don't you care about me?
Its not always about you.
I'm sick of doing all your work.
You don't care, then you lie about it, and I hate you for it.
You're cheap.
Take better care of yourself, for Gods sake.
You suck.
I hate you.
Grow up.
Now, if i have saddened or offended you with that, just go back and see what you've done to me.

Beatles: Oh Darling! Please belive me, I'll never do you no harm. Believe me, I'll never do you no harm! Oh Darling! If you leave me, I'll never make it alone. Believe me when I beg you, don't ever leave me alone!